Summer Superpowers

WHOA. That was a hectic week. Or as my children like to say “I’m so hectic!” (It took me soo long to get used to this ridiculous teenage saying, and then last week it actually popped out of my mouth! 🤔)

My clients know this already. One of the (annoying?) questions I like to ask is “What do you do to calm yourself down?”/ “When you’re in a heightened state of reactivity, what do you do to bring yourself back to base?” / “What returns you to your functioning?” 

I’m amazed how often adults (and children) do not know the answer to this question. (Spoiler alert: we must!) We all need to have a healthy “go-to” plan on how to get back to a stable emotional space, particularly when someone or something throws us off. 

Ok. So how can we calm ourselves down?

Somatic Therapy, a therapy that focuses on the mind-body connection gives us some answers. We each have “resources” - I like to call them “superpowers” - which can be either internal and external -  that help regulate our mood, our anxieties, our emotions and give us the ability to feel safe and to feel calm. Resourcing can be used for everyday fears, frustrations and disappointments (e.g. children who are homesick at camp) and it can even be used by those who have experienced complex traumas.  

Resources are unique for every person. We each have our own superpowers that can help us feel safe and stable.

The key to finding them is to tap into our own personal strengths, positive experiences, and our own favorite things. Sometimes, it’s the little awesome things in life that can act as our resources. Sometimes, it’s bigger things. It’s basically having a prepared stash of good vibes to call upon whenever we need them. 

Resourcing can use our mind-body connection, imagery, and our imagination to allow us to go to our “happy place” in our minds. 

Learning how to do this ourselves - being able to “self soothe”-  without relying on other people is a life skill.

I see children in school/camp who are able to self soothe, and I watch children who can’t. It’s really sad when they wan’t to but can’t. The great news is— this is a skill that can be taught.

Here are some examples of Healthy Resources that we can get into the habit of using. 

• Focus on the here and now using your 5 senses. Feel the texture of something cozy, listen to your favorite music, breathing in and out, with a delicious drink.
• Guided meditation. 
• Take a mental vacay. Let your mind take you somewhere relaxing.. anywhere around the world. Even for a minute or two! Close your eyes and enjoy the scene. 
• Give yourself a face hug. Follow these directions! They work! I actually love doing it. Put your thumbs in your ears, and your ring fingers (the 4th finger for those who wear rings on other fingers) in the corners of your eyes, your pinky fingers squeezing your nose and your other two fingers pressing in your temples over your eyes. Press firmly. Feels good, right?
• Learn Breathing techniques to help you calm down. (It’s not as “nerdy” as it sounds - they actually work! It took me a while to believe it too 😱)
• Closing your eyes, and visualizing yourself in your childhood home, or spending time in nature, or smelling a heaven smell - one that even brings you back to your childhood. 
• Grounding Exercise by Dr. Reggie Melrose (see picture below) (not to be embarrassing, but [some of] my children like this one.) 
• Exercising and getting your adrenaline running.
• Drinking a latte from a glass mug, even better on a rainy day, wearing cozy slippers. (My Best One!! Plus, my favorite slippers.)
• Playing an instrument or having someone play for you.
• Visualizing an accomplishment that we are working towards (marathon runners use this resource).

Especially during the summer, let’s all identify and get to know our Resources. It’s a great supper/pool conversation - even with the kids too. ‘What do you do to keep yourself calm?”

Let’s be more intentional about our resources and point them out when we use them — and let’s take it one step further as corny as this sounds. Let’s thank them 🤗 I’m serious! (sorta). Thank our resources for being there for us!

So here’s to a public thank you to my Venti Solo Skinny Latte! I know you are always there for me.

Ahh, that first sip feeling. 😉

❤️, Shifi 

P.S. To learn more about Resourcing, and Somatic Therapy in general, visit my dear friend and colleague Mrs. Henchi Goldberg’s website:

http://www.henchigoldberg.com